Things I Learned at the Dentist

After 18 months of procrastinating, I finally broke down and made an appointment to see the dentist. I came away with 3 fillings, a numb face, and several lessons learned:

1. Even the law is subjective. It was my first visit to this particular dentist office so I had to fill out the standard sign-your-life-away-paperwork. In this packet, as required by law, they have to give you a copy of their privacy practices, the following is an excerpt from that:

"We will also use our professional judgement and our experience with common practice to make reasonable inferences of your best interest..."

This statement is hilarious. Subjectivity is oozing out of it like a festering wound. The doctor's "professional judgement" is the sole proprietor of my dental records. And common practice? Just because everyone else is doing it, means its OK to do? I'm willing to bet that the author of this document was really good at bullshitting essays in school. That's a reasonable inference, right?

2. Doing the right thing is usually more expensive. My boss is a health freak and thinks that everything on this earth has toxins in it that are killing us (I'm not sure I disagree). While he may be at the extreme end of the spectrum, he found out he had mercury poisoning from his fillings. Of course, I was intrigued enough to do a little due diligence, and now I am forever changed on the perspective of dental fillings. (Seriously, watch this video.)

So the dentist comes to me with two options: amalgam fillings for free or the white composite ones for $42 each. I should have known that the insurance businessmen would pin me with that decision. But really, if they only knew the long term effects of mercury poisoning, maybe they'd find that the short term increased cost for the non-mercury-seeping fillings is less than several hundred doctors visits for vision, coordination, and muscle weakness problems that occur after a lifetime of subjection to mercury poison. Mercury poison is also transferable to unborn babies - your mom may have never dropped you on your head - but she most likely had metal fillings that poisoned you...

If you haven't already guessed I opted for the white fillings (not because I have $$ to burn) because it was the right thing to do.

3. It is incredibly hard to put lip gloss on when you can't feel your lips. Think of the old lady in that commercial asking "Is it on straaaaaaight?" That was me. Followed by a comical procession of me trying to sip my coffee, me trying to eat lunch, me trying not to drool... losing control of my lip is not my favorite thing.

The biggest lessons I learned out of it all is - step up the dental hygeine. Brushing and flossing regularly is not enough anymore.